I know I've been away for a bit, and I apologize for that. I feel extremely bad, considering I generally won't say anything and then will disappear for an extended period of time; I'd like to explain.
Being back in Hawaii is an extremely stressful time for me, and not because I have the shittiest internet available, lol. I was there for the holidays, and it honestly, for lack of a better term, fucked me up.
As some of you know I struggle with pretty severe depression (I've been on suicide watch at my prior school, sadly) and extremely bad anxiety. Going back to Hawaii exponentially worsens my condition, as my family has mentally abused me for years now (not a sob story, just a fact).
I've begun the healing process with them, which is going slowly (but nevertheless going). However, it still is really painful for me to be there. That being said, that's why I haven't been on consistently or as consistently as I'd like to be.
It is getting harder and harder to put on a bold face and be happy when I log in to the server or Teamspeak or anything really. I genuinely consider myself a pretty positive staff who tries my best to oblige by rules and enforce them and whatnot; recently, though, it's been exceptionally harder to maintain that positive, objective personality that I strive for.
Now that I'm back in (near) LA, I think I'll be getting on more. California makes me a bit better mentally considering I don't have any psychological problem-starters around, lol. So that's a bit of some good news (unless you hate me or something yikes).
I'd just like to thank all of you who help put even a half-smile on my face. Even if I have shitty-Booty internet sometimes, logging in to Teamspeak and talking to friends I've known for a couple years now helps a lot, so thank you (except you Stoppie you suck ). Keeping in touch on Snapchat is a blessing too, even though Trinity is completely obsessed with my personal life *rolls eyes*. <3
I'm so glad to be back. See y'all around soon.